Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Behind The Facade.


-The Girl With Flaming Red Hair And Crystal Blue Eyes-


Do you ever wonder, why March Pathway's hair is a flaming red, and her eyes a deep crystal blue? The answer lies deep behind the making of the OC, something that would reside in the heart of her creator.

With heavy guilt she types these words, feet on the ground and headphones covering ears, blocking out the words. Pushing past the facade in front, you find thoughts swirling in her mind, and ideas in her very soul, a headache pulsing slowly.

You think she is a carefree being? Then you are wrong. She chooses these words carefully, each appearing in her head the second before typing.

This girl walks with a guilt, so common in her heart that she knows its image as a darkness. Something she doesn't want to talk about.

Now let's travel back to March, the girl's hair flying behind her, literally flaming, the fire engulfing her body, anger clouding her mind. She, as the girl writing this, screams and cries in agony when her friends are hurt. When her friends are bullied, when there is a fear, when someone is striking a negative emotion. She wants to rip the bully apart, this reason for her friend's torture.

But she's too afraid herself to do anything.

Later when alone she cries for her friends pain, something that has become her own, a vile taste in her mouth, that would one day turn March's eyes a sad, aqua blue, sparkling ever so slightly from the tears. The empathetic feelings affect her, when she reads anything that is even fantasy, or sees something on the news about a third world country on the other side of the world.

Her mother and father try their best to make their daughter feel happy, and to make her feel safe, and she does.

On the outside.

She cries when she herself has hurt one of her friends, and something breaks slowly. It is always breaking. A torture that will follow her everywhere. Afraid to say no about anyone else's opinion, she edges around the word, and most likely always will.

When she sees someone in pain, on the blogs she so likes to read, she wishes she could be with them, to hug them, and say the exact words that will comfort them.

But she can't.

The words are stuck in her mouth, probably never to be spoken aloud.

“Your not stupid. You're great the way you are, and that's why I chose you as my friend!”

“You have no idea how much God loves us all. He is always watching out for us, even if we don't want him to.”

She wants you to know, every one of you, that she will never abandon you.

Ever.

Even if you don't want her help, she will always think of you, will always pray for you, and she will never, ever, make you feel worse then you may feel at the moment.

Even if she has exhausted herself, she will still be thinking about you. Even if she isn't there, she will still be thinking of you. Even if the guilt of something you may not even be aware of if weighing her down, the thoughts will be drilling in her head.

All these thoughts and feelings have formed the image of the girl you know as March Pathway.

She cries for others pain. Thus her crystal blue eyes.
She is protective of her friends. Thus her flaming red hair.
She feels your pain.
She wants to help you.
She is afraid of causing other's sadness.
She is thinking of you.
And she feels guilt even by typing this, to accidentally say something that will hurt someone.

She just wants you to be happy.

6 comments:

  1. Mar. My dear, close friend, Mar-Chu. You are such a good friend, such a lovely person. I'm so lucky to know you. I can't even express how this post made me feel. Please don't feel guilty.

    I'm crappy with words, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

    *hugs Mar*

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  2. I don't know what to say, really... I'm crying. I don't deserve friends like you and Thalia, you always put up with my stupidity. Your talent is far greater than mine will ever be, I try to hard. You two are the greatest people on earth to me, I love you both so much, don't feel guilty, okay Mar?

    *gives hug and a cookie to Mar*

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  3. *coughs slightly*

    Um, yes...Well, I was kind of hoping that no one had seen this yet so that I could just delete the post and walk away.

    Um, that won't be happening...

    ...well this is an awkward moment.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mar. Thank you for what you wrote. It was a very beautiful and comforting thing to read. I was inspired by what you said. I don't know why you feel guilty.
    I am really blessed to have come to know you. Time and time again you have amazed and encouraged me with your caring for others.
    Just so you know, I pray fo rall of yout too.
    *hugs her*

    Thank you Mar. You are one of my favorite people.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awww, Mar!


    *hugs her*


    Thank you! You have no idea how reassured and happy you have made me feel.

    Thanks for letting me be your friend!


    *runs away before she becomes too emotional*

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  6. Aw. I'm crying :) In a happy way, though, with a smile.
    I don't really know what else to say.
    *Hugs*

    ReplyDelete