I WANT TO BURY MYSELF
> Chrys: Investigate weird changes in the house.
Alright you’ve ignored this long enough what the fuck is going on.
> Steve: Run back to your room to use your computer.
Two chums have been trying to message you.
> Steve: Answer chums.
PF: ok so im working on fixing the bathroom i guess theres still some dry plaster everywhere but w/e
SS: Who the fuck cares about that there’s a meteor heading for my house!!!
PF: WHAT
SS: YEAH!!!
PF: SHIT MAYBE ITS THE GAME??
SS: NO, REALLY??
PF: ok um try using the lathe
PF: walkthroughs say you can use the card on it 2 play along with the game and uh
PF: avoid ultimate doom i guess??
PF: DONT DIE
SS: FUCKING THANKS
-- suaveHelix [SH] began pestering straightSqwawker [SS] at 15:31 --
SH: Hey heard you got the game.
SS: Yeah its kind of
SS: Problematic
SH: ???
SS: There’s a meteor heading for my house
SH: Why the fuck would that be part of the game.
SS: Well?? If i knew i would tell you?? BUT I DON’T
SH: Why did you even play this game?
SS: You got the game too!!
SH: Yeah but I’m not PLAYING it.
SS: Whats the fucking difference honestly
SH: You know what fuck you you’re one to judge.
SS: Why are you messaging me again??
SS: Hello??
SS: ???
SS: Fuck you i dont have time for this
> Steve: Use pre-punched card on totem lathe.
You know, the giant microscope.
You slip the PRE-PUNCHED CARD into a slot on the TOTEM LATHE. Above, the TOOL ARM deploys a configuration of chisels.
Now you just need something to… lathe?
Now you just need something to… lathe?
> Steve: Take cruxite to totem lathe.
Cursing your lack of foresight, you return to the BALCONY for the CRUXITE DOWEL you left on the pedestal.
You navigate the hallway leery of CHRYS, who is presently puzzling over the new fixture in his hallway.
You navigate the hallway leery of CHRYS, who is presently puzzling over the new fixture in his hallway.
(The toilet. It’s the honest to God TOILET in the hallway of course it is.)
> PF: Put the duffel bag in a more suitable position.
Haha the perfect crime, no one will ever suspect it happened.
...Probably.
> Steve: Return to room.
You retrieved the CRUXITE DOWEL.
Chrys is gone, thankfully.
If only she knew that you were hard at work to save every hair on her little head.
Back in your room, you use the CRUXITE DOWEL on the lathe, and it carves it up to look like a vase.
You obtain ONE (1) TOTEM.
SS: Alright what next
-- plantFiesta [PF] is no longer connected! --
SS: Fucking dammit
From outside the door, there’s a loud crash as a toilet is dropped, preventing your door from opening and trapping you in your room.
SS: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!
== > Be PF.
A young lady stands in her bedroom. Due to a violent storm, her house has just lost power, along with her wireless internet connection. This has severed her link to a popular video game she was playing with a young man at a critical moment. That young man is relying on this young lady to reestablish a connection somehow. This young lady named...
Named...
It's on the tip of your tongue. What was the name of this young lady again?
> Enter Name.
“BARNACLE BOOBS.”
Um, what?
> One more time.
“RUI CARTER”
That’s it!
Your name is RUI. As was previously mentioned you are without ELECTRICITY, although your LAPTOP COMPUTER still functions on BATTERY POWER. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for FANTASY EPICS. You enjoy creative writing and are SOMEWHAT SECRETIVE ABOUT IT. You have a fondness for the BIOLOGICAL WONDERS OF THE WORLD, and sometimes dabble in CHEMISTRY. You also like to SHOP, and your room is a BIT OF A MESS. And on occasion, if just the right one strikes your fancy, you like to play VIDEO GAMES with your friends.
What will you do?
What will you do?
> Rui: Writhe like a flagellum and puke on your bed.
Ugh, what a terrible idea! The thought alone makes you sick to your stomach.
> Rui: Stroke writing journal and mutter, ‘My precious…’
Haha, what up HOBBIT REFERENCE.
> Rui: Make sure the plants on your windowsill are watered.
Of course! Can’t have any babies getting parched.
> Steve: Pace around your room like a caged tiger.
OH MY GOD YOU’RE GOING TO DIE WHAT DO YOU DO
> Rui: Look out window.
Your window offers a view of your yard below, and the VEGETABLE GARDEN your MOTHER so caringly tends to in the spring and summer. Your MOM made the garden shortly after you moved into this house, years ago. It’s a sort of STRESS RELIEF for her.
You can also make out a silhouette of the RADIO TOWER next door, a facility which might broadcast a strong WIRELESS INTERNET SIGNAL. You may be able to connect to the signal from a different part of the house. Maybe if you seek higher ground?
> Rui: Go explore the house.
You leave your BEDROOM.
Hanging just next to your door in the hallway is a painting of GOATS PLAYING POKER. Your mother collects these awful things IRONICALLY. She must know how much you detest them, and there is no doubt in your mind she stores these dreadful things in the house to bother you.
Down the hall to the right is the way to the OBSERVATORY. Perhaps you will be able to connect from up there?
Your mother's room is also in that direction. You will have to watch your step, since she might be taking a nap.
Hanging just next to your door in the hallway is a painting of GOATS PLAYING POKER. Your mother collects these awful things IRONICALLY. She must know how much you detest them, and there is no doubt in your mind she stores these dreadful things in the house to bother you.
Down the hall to the right is the way to the OBSERVATORY. Perhaps you will be able to connect from up there?
Your mother's room is also in that direction. You will have to watch your step, since she might be taking a nap.
> Rui: Tiptoe to observatory and try to connect.
You take your LAPTOP out of your BRANCHING SYLLADEX. Predictably it collapses, having been held up by the laptop. A TEXTBOOK, a STUFFED CAT, and a BOWL OF STEAMING EASY MAC drops to the floor. The EASY MAC spills on impact.
Oh my gosh you forgot you had that in there!!
> Rui: See what you can observe.
You're in a hurry, sure, but that doesn't mean you can't take moment to peek through the HUGE TELESCOPE.
You find a gap in the clouds. It seems a flurry of smaller METEOROIDS is streaking steadily overhead. You're not sure what this means, but it is somewhat disconcerting.
> Rui: Stack laptop on textbook to maximize elevation.
Excellent!
> Rui: Access radio tower wifi network.
There are several signals being broadcasted from the LABORATORY, each of relatively decent strength.
One of them is mysteriously and quite conveniently UNSECURED, requiring no password.
You select the signal, and reconnect to the game with Steve.
One of them is mysteriously and quite conveniently UNSECURED, requiring no password.
You select the signal, and reconnect to the game with Steve.
PF: SORRY SORRY SORRY!!
SS: I AM GOING TO DIE THERES ONLY 40 SMTHN SECONDS LEFT
PF: OK JUST MAKE THE NEW TOTEM WHEN YOU GET OUT
SS: WHAT???
SS: ????
PF: THE APPLE LOOKING THING IT’S APPARENTLY FREE AND SUPER IMPORTANT
> Rui: Remove door from hinges.
There was probably a better way to do that but hey! Steve won’t die now!
> Steve: Take totem to alchemiter.
You need to get these STUPID FUCKING BLOCKS out of the way before you can even use the alchemiter!
The KERNELSPRITE you prototyped is getting awfully worked up about all this!
> Rui: Remove blocks.
You store the PERFECTLY GENERIC OBJECTS in your PHERNALIA REGISTRY, potentially to be deployed at a later time.
Everything seems to be going good and oh my gosh suddenly there’s a tree on your roof.
How is Chrys not seeing this right now??!
There’s an apple growing on the tree, perfectly sculpted. It falls to the ground with a thump, but you catch it when it bounces a second time.
Then the meteor is right upon you.
END OF ACT ONE
I THINK i edited this earlier, but im not super duper sure and i just finished writing my petit prince project so im dead inside
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