Yo. Currently, I am Mar-Chu. Why I said currently does not concern you. What does concern you, and why I'm talking to you, is the matter of Kallista.
You probably don't call her Kallista, but everyone here does. She is your daughter.
Yes, I have stated the obvious. Har Harr.
It has come to my attention, that you think Kallista is a bad influence.
Oh god, you are WRONG.
Kallista is there when we're sad, when we're mad, she's there whenever SOMETHING is going on! Kallista is kind, she's sincere, she's funny, and she is a great friend.
Kallista is a permenent fixture on this blog, and withought her we would all crumble into dust, never to be seen again. The people who are her closest friends would go first, because they could not bear to be on withought Kallista. Then there are the people who would stay on. They would find blogland half-dead whenever they come on, and soon they would just find it a depressing place. They would then leave.
Now, There is our golden god, Derek Landy. He would continue posting, but pretty soon, withought his comments and his loyal minions, his blog would soon close down, becoming a emty shell. With his blog gone, no one will have a good, hard reason to find our own blogs, and we would fade into oblivion.
Pretty soon the lot from youtube would come nd walk on our ahses, spreading thir empire everywhere, infecting it.
The online world would be infected by their wrath, and creative, artistic power would turn into a bland mush, everything blending together until it is all the same, tasteless object. That would be the fall of deviantart.
but pretty soon loads of people would be shut down from youtube from swearing, offensive manner, and just no sense of humor.
And whithought these main pinpoints of symbolism to guide everyone in the internet, all the other, less known sights would crumble as well, writing sights would be infected by swearing, ebay by hacking, and news sights by terrible reports of world wide crisesis, until nothing will be left standing, and not even people like Lady Gaga, or Ke$ha, or Bruno Mars can prosper, because there is nothing to spread the word of them.
That, readers, was the internet apocalypse, and it all started because Kallista's parents didn't allow her to blog.
...okay, well, maybe not the WHOLE internet, but our community on the blog.
if Kallista were gone, it would set off a chain reaction of events that led to the Dereksville apocalypse.
Do NOT say that Kallista cannot come onto the blog.